May 25, 2011

POSTAL Dog Star Champ

Passes Away Like A Boss After Life of Pure Awesome

Champ, the notorious RWS pit bull of POSTAL franchise fame, departed this world barking and defiant Monday after an eight-month battle with cancer. But as some famous guy didn't quite declare, we've come to praise Champ, not to bury him.

In his twelve years of canine infamy, Champ left a trail of half-eaten dudes and half crippled bitches in his wake. The original “Teflon Dog”, Champ defied the odds, managing to escape death row multiple times, even being found innocent of assault in a Pima County courtroom.

Champ is and always will be the Running With Scissors mascot, and best friend to the POSTAL franchise's titular “Dude”. Champ's resume was impressive, appearing in several games including POSTAL 2, Apocalypse Weekend, the upcoming POSTAL III and the POSTAL feature film (where he was body doubled by a union actor). In addition, the pilot for an animated series titled: “What Would Champ Do?” was produced, showcasing his unique approach to solving world problems.

Champ whisperer and RWS pack leader Vince Desi reflected: "When I think of Champ it’s like Brando, Cagney, Pacino...pure Greatness. My grandson was loyal to the bone.”

Champ truly lived life like it was made of filet. Even at the end, in addition to his favorites Filet Mignon, New York Strips and Chicken Parmegiano he was eating a half dozen 5 Guys burgers a day like a Boss. We can only assume Champ is in a better place now, boning all nine “Lassie’s” and mauling Bin Laden for all eternity. Godspeed Champ, Godspeed.

Champ is survived by his master Vinny Desi, best friend Chewy the Pug and girlfriend Sophia the Blue-Nosed Pit. You can honor The Champ by donating to his favorite charity, Forte Animal Rescue.


(Click images to enlarge).

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