August 01, 2009

David Ortiz on Steroids

Zitro... Zero or Hero? - by Mike Jaret

Many people my age remember a tubby character from our childhood, his name was Cookie Monster. Now kids of New England have a new cookie monster to look up to and his name is David Ortiz or Zitro^TM.

Zitro is a significantly overweight individual whom the Red Sox picked up prior to the 2003 baseball season. The man had 58 homeruns between the years of 1997 and 2002 for the Twins, then he packed his bags and moved his fat sub-par hitting ass up to bean town for a lesson in injections and clutch hitting.

Now personally I have never had anything against the use of steroids in baseball, and I was a big fan of the home-run era. I used to follow Mark McGuire and Sammy Sosa and hope that someone would break the record. It wasn't against the rules back then and quite frankly Bud Selig must have his own brand of roids cuz I KNOW he was well aware of the use and probably more involved then any of us will ever know. Once they became a banned substance in the MLB the fun was over and people SHOULD have stopped using. Who knows if they did, but I don't think people should be held responsible for that era, it was condoned and no one did a fucking thing!

What I have a problem with is fuckers like David Ortiz coming out AGAINST steroids and saying people should be banned for lengthy periods of time for use. Here is this porker speaking out against roid use:



Well so much for that Zitro, as of July 2009 you are now a well known roid abuser. Your name was on the list of users that tested positive in 2003. Don't get on your high horse and act like you didn't know you tested positive. Everyone fucking knows....and to see your numbers decline like they did this year was only the cherry on the sunday. You and your cock ornament, Manny Ramirez, were outed. Fortunately for you, they didn't find female pregnancy hormones in your system like they did Mannys, but you are just as guilty. And speaking out against your fellow players when you are just as guilty is FUCKED UP. Admit your wrongdoings and take the public humiliation like a man.

You were a clutch hitter, no doubt, and you fucking KILLED my Yankees in the 04 ALCS. I respect you for that and I don't even care that it was Juice inspired. All I care about is the fact that you tried to hide your use by coming out against other users and now you're caught. What's even sweeter is all of the roid facts now popping out of Red Sox nation. Funny how the Mitchell Report was void of any reference to the Red Sox nation....could it be because he's a card holding member? Well George Mitchell, looks like your report was fudged.

Like I said, I never really cared about the use of roids in the game, but man looking back....that 04 series was purely roid inspired. Without cookie monster and Bob Marley poppin off Home Runs, yanks are 04 American League champs and maybe even 27 time world champs....

For shame!

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