August Underground's Mordum
July 14, 2009
August Underground's Mordum
A Movie Review by Tim Wambolt
I've seen Niku daruma, Salo, Cannibal Holocaust, Men Behind The Sun and much more, so what is the sickest, cruelest, most upsetting movie ever in my opinion? The answer without a doubt is August Underground's Mordum.
Dear Fred Vogel, creator and star of the August Underground movies, thank you for ruining my life and my underwear. I can't even eat anymore without gagging, thinking about that scene in your movie where two young girls are being brutally beaten and vomited on, while your character stands there wearing your sploodge-caked underwear and your "Fred Vogel's face" T-shirt, fondling your man-junk as if this all was the complete opposite of "grown-man-wetting-his-own-bed" disturbing.
Plus I can't even sleep at night for fear that I might wake up in a coffin, forced to slowly snip off my own penis with a small pair of scissors at the threat of my girlfriend being murdered, only to then watch her get brutally raped by my severed penis and then murdered anyways. Hey! I knew you guys were sadistic serial killers and rapists, but liars? You guys are just being rude now! Okay! I take it back, please keep that rape penis away from me! HELP! Wiggly penis rape! (I literally just fucked myself).
After seeing those throats being slit so gruesomely, I can't shave my beard anymore. I'm garling this mouth wash and my reflection looks so much like Mel Gibson that I keep thinking this bottle says "anti-Semitic" instead of antiseptic. I can't even take out the garbage either in fear that when I lift the lid I will see a man eating pieces of a dead, decapitated baby covered in maggots. I think I'll just play it safe and let the garbage build up in my house. Wait, I'm having company over, they're probably going to wonder why I have all these empty boxes of butthole plugs.
Now I'm so traumatized that I can't even take a bath with my Disney Sebastian and Flounder toys in fear that I might slip on porcelain covered with the blood and cum that resulted in a necrophilia session between a grown man and the dead body of an eight year old girl. Plus I can't even hear myself singing the Little Mermaid song because this lady named Krusty is traumatizing me for life by yelling at the dead little girl, telling her that she will never grow up. It kinda reminds of what a meany Ursula the Sea Witch was to Ariel, except that Ariel wasn't human, or a rape victim, or dead, or decomposing, or eight years old. Wait, there's a big difference there, sorry.
And you know what? I can't even disembowel people and have sex with their intestines anymore without thinking about the scene where that happened in your movie. That was really upsetting. And because of this I ask that when you mail me your next movie, please wave the shipping fee to accommodate for the price of my underwear that you ruined. Love Tim.
Oops, I meant "From Tim" not "Love Tim"! (That's probably your fault too somehow).
August Underground's Penance |
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im definately not seeing this movie. because i want to keep my sanity
thanks tim
Awesome movie, not quite as disturbing as Penance but it really cemented itself as being the sicked movie in the trilogy. What's also really good is Vogel's latest movie Murder Collection Volume 1 which has a bunch of short videos simulating murders. Like there's this guy who gets beaten to death by his father on webcam, surveillance footage of an armed robbery, some old pervert who kidnapped two teenage boys and is videotaping his exploits, a terrorist beheading, some guys who take this guy out to the woods but their bullying goes too far, and there's plenty of twists in each scene and everything is shot to look as real as can be, it's very Faces Of Death.